Dieting Is Not A Piece of Cake

January First

2012-01-02T12:23:00.000-08:00

Weigh in: 252. Next January I would like to see that at 190. Now, how to do that. I still don't know. I will just count calories. Last January I weighed 235. That's a gain of 12 pounds this year. It would have been really easy to lose 12 pounds, but no, I gained 12!

Week 1

2011-12-23T08:08:00.000-08:00

On December 13 I weighed 253 pounds. Today I weigh 248. That is a loss of 5 pounds in 10 days. From this time on my weigh in day will be on Friday. I dont have a weight for last Friday cause I was out of town. So I have lost the first five pounds. I'll take that. Instead of looking at the 90 pounds I want to lose I will celebrate every pound. I gained 1 pound at a time. I will lose 1 pound at a time.

Ominous Doctor Visit

2011-12-22T19:36:00.000-08:00

I finally broke down and called the doctor yesterday. They scheduled me for an appointment today. I went. I did not like what I heard. I told them that I am sick of not being able to move. My legs feel like weights and are swollen all the time. My rib is out of place from sitting on bleachers all day for 2 solid days and then riding for three hours on an old school bus.

After noting the excessive swelling in my legs and listening to me, the doctor ordered lab work to rule out a bunch of stuff. Other than that she said the same thing I heard last summer from another doctor: The swelling is from my heart getting old!

What do they mean by that? Am I in heart failure? Why do they word it that way? Is this just the accepted mobility for 51 years old. I think not! I move like my 87 year old mother in law! I can barely lift my legs. I cant walk down the bleachers at my daughters games and must always sit on the bottom bleacher. This is not normal. Something is wrong!

I have to take action. The first thing I did was called my cardiologist from 1996 to see if they still have my old records. They did. They are sending me the records so I can take them to a local cardiologist since the one I went to back then has retired. I am going to have another ultrasound of my heart. I am going to make sure I walk around the block every day until I can do a workout like a normal person. Right now I can only walk half a mile before my feet just kill me!

Yesterday my feet hurt so bad from Christmas shopping that I actually had to sit down in the mall and rest. I havent had to do that since the days I was pregnant! My feet and legs are swollen awful.

The doctor also wanted me to get some support stockings. So I did. The next thing she wanted was for me to lose the weight. So I will! I have to! I cannot live like this. The highest weight I have ever seen in my entire 51 years on the planet was 256 pounds and that was ten years ago, the morning I delivered my 11 pound son! This morning I weighed 249 pounds! Need I say more?

Blurred edges

2011-12-19T10:19:00.000-08:00

I dont like the edges of my food plan blurred. I just dont. I want a clean and precise day of eating. This weekend has been blurred. I ate a piece of pie last night when I went out with some friends. I had the calories left for it, but I don't want to spend my calories on pie. One of my goals is to get rid of the sugar in my diet and that wont happen if I keep delving into the carbs and sugar to that extent. I need to treat my sugar problem like the allergy that it is. I am highly allergic to sugar. It makes me tired and cranky. It also feeds my candida and that I do not need!

I am so tired of being fat, I dont know why I cant just stay on plan. On the other hand, I am not totally unhappy with my weekend. I turned down a lot of things I would have ordinarily eaten. I stayed quite close to my calorie limit with only a few blurred edges. Its hard when I eat food without a direct calorie count. I like to know exactly what I am eating, but I guess that is the OCD part of me. I need to learn that just because I dont have an exact calorie count, it does not mean that I have gone off my food plan. I can give it an educated guess and go on!

Today I want to focus on eating correctly and drinking my water.

Back and time to weigh

2011-12-17T09:17:00.000-08:00

Im back from a two day Tournament out of town. I weighed this morning, a bit unsure of what the scale would say. I was really good the first day and stayed within my caloirelimit. The second day I got a bit off track but I was still pleased with how I had done. I always gain water weight on trips along with eating wrong, as a result its nothing for me to comehome from a two day tournament like that and gain 5 pounds. I was a little worried when I stepped on the scales this morning, but I was happy to see that I had only gained 10 ozs. I weighed 249.2. Today I will get right back on track with my cal pal. I forgot to take it with me on the trip. I was bummed about that. So now its on to a new day.

At some point I am going to have to quit weighing and just weigh weekly. I have decided to make Friday mornings my weigh in times. I guess that would mean that today would be as good as any to quit reporting the daily weigh ins. Okay, so that's what I will do. A week from today I will report my weight loss. I can do this. I'm only asking for two pounds a week. That would mean I would lose 100 pounds this next year. it doesnt seem like such a great request, but its oh so hard to do.

The post you almost didnt see

2011-12-15T22:39:00.000-08:00

I started this post on the 12th, I didnt want to publish that I was starting to count calories but it all seemed so pointless. But now I realize that I need the support of the blog world. So here are my thoughts from the last several days.

It's December 12 and I am going to count calories to lose this weight. I am allowing myself 1500 calories a day. This is going to be hard but I have to do this. I am scared that my weight will kill me long before my time. It is also very embarrassing to get up off the floor or out of a ran down couch. I can barely pull myself up anymore. I hate that I have regained the 50 pounds I have lost. The scale said 252.2 this morning. That's right where I was in 2008 when I started losing. By the fall of 2010 I had seen 202 on the scale. From then on I just climbed right back up. I was only 3 pounds from onederland. Why did I do that to myself? Why did I get scared like that? I'm not going to publish this entry. It's going into draft. After I lose some weight I will publish this. Even the idea of letting everyone else see yet another weight loss attempt, just sickens me. I hate being fat. I see all these huge people at walmart and I never want to get that huge. I will if I don't stop this right now. I must make good choices. I have to do this. I have to lose this weight. There is just no way around it. The time is now!

December 13 Well I weighed 253.2 today. That is up a pound in spite of the fact that I tracked every calorie. I think its because I actually drank several glasses of water. I ordered a cal pal from Amazon. You put your calories in and it keeps track of them every day. I love it. it works like a charm. Now I don't have to make sure I have my paper there all the time to write on. Today I have 170 calories left over. Hopefully the water weight will be gone by morning.

December 14 Success at last. The scales budged. It showed 250.8 this morning. I need to quit weighing every day but for now that is my motivation. later the pounds off and the way I feel will become my motivation, but for now its all about the scale. I can barely put one foot in front of the other in this diet saga so I need the feedback from the scales. I had several pieces of See's candy last night. I hate when that happens. I want my weight loss to be coupled with no sugar. Sugar is my enemy. I was thinking this morning about publishing this post today, but I'm still too vulnerable. I don't want you all to think, "here she goes again with another false start." I want to have some weight lost so I don't sound like I'm off my rocker here. Its gets so tiring to read of one weight loss attempt after another of bloggers who are just messing around. These private entries are my way of sparing you the pain. if I actually lose this time these will get posted, otherwise they will stay in draft forever. I'm going to try and have a wonderful on plan day today.

December 15 Weighed 248.8 this morning. So happy. I'm worried though because I'm going to an out of town tournament with my daughter today. I wont get back until tomorrow. I need to be sure and eat right at the tournament. its so hard to make healthy choices away from home.

I thought that I would be writing this for at least a month before I made it public, but for some reason tonight I am feeling like publishing it. Maybe I will. It might help me keep on plan at the tournament.

Counting

2011-12-13T19:53:00.000-08:00

Trying to hang on by counting calories. For now that's all I can do. I am actually tracking them now instead of just figuring them in my head so I'm hopful this will work. I never could get any sort of success if I didnt write things down.

Yes Im here

2011-12-12T11:40:00.000-08:00

Im still here, fatter than ever. I have now reached my heaviest weight without being pregnant. This is the same weight I was before losing the 50 pounds in 2008. sigh. I have no idea why anyone even clicks on this blog anymnore. I suppose it's to watch the trainwreck. I'm not giving up. really I'm not.

Control is hard

2011-11-17T06:25:00.000-08:00

I did it. I stayed within my calories. I wish though that I would have had a "cleaner" eating day. I wasn't going to weigh until the end of the week, but I found myself on the scale. I lost 2 pounds yesterday. I'll take it. Today I hope for a less complicated eating pattern.

A Turn Around

2011-11-16T07:03:00.000-08:00

Okay, I haven't been sitting idle on the diet front the last several weeks. I know this blog really looks like it, but I haven't. I have been researching and reading. I have finally come to a conclusion on this. There is no way to lose the weight but to diet and exercise. That is profound. Yeah, I know that everyone knows that, but what makes it profound is when one internalizes the idea and the concept. For months now I have been reading and talking to people who have lost weight from all manner of methods. I even tried a few of my phentermine pills again.

In all my reading and all my research and all my soul search and the random blog posts on here, I have formed a very definitive approach for my weight loss. I recall back in 2008 when I lost 50 pounds, that many times I thought to myself, "why did I waste the last ten years looking for the perfect diet when in reality all I needed to do was to count calories." Yes, that's how I lost that 50 pounds. I can't tell you how that thought has been going over and over in my head the last while. Why would I return to trying out all the different diets when I found what worked for me?

Well people, I'm going back to counting calories and exercising. I'm going to go low carb just because I have to for blood sugar purposes. I am going to use this blog to stay accountable. I am going to eat 1500 calories a day because I want something doable. Every day I am going to exercise. I'm not putting a limit n that. I don't know how far I can walk or what my limitations are really in that area. I'm just going to go out and walk.

I will not be posting every tiny food morsel here but I will be posting my calorie intake daily. I want to also post my exercise and water. I hate water but I know how much it helps. I have experienced it. So here I go. I am going to do this! I haven't set weight loss goals as far as pounds off type goals since back in my 30's when I was a lovely size 10. I like being size 10. I have no grandiose ideas of ever being a size 2. I wasn't a size 2 at birth so why should I try to do that now? But one thing I am going to do now is post a goal of pounds off. My goal is to be 15 pounds lighter by January 1, 2012. Now that might not sound like a lot to all of you but there are several factors involved here. Let me list them: I am 51 years old. I am postmenopausal. The holidays are here.

For me to lose 15 pounds will be a miracle. But I am going to do it. I want this miracle. This morning I am 251 pounds! In 2008 when I started I was 252. I have gained back 49 of the 50 pounds I lost. My goal isn't to be 110 pounds. My goal is to lose 82 pounds to weigh 170. I will readjust that later probably but for now that is where it stands. My determination is huge! I can tell just how determined I am by the very fact that I posted my weight on here. I'm also excited about posting definite goals!!!

I'm ready to take on the day!!

Lost 5 pounds last week, gained 3 pounds this week

2011-11-12T20:30:00.001-08:00

Okay so which is the best for keeping hunger at bay; fiber or protein as in ketosis like Atkins. I feel like I could do this if I could just not be hungry all the time. My insulin rises at every bit of food I out in and drops swiftly leaving me in a hypoglocemic state most of the time. I hate this. Once I give in to the sugar I can't get out of it's iron grip. How do I break out of the sugar coma when insulin is yelling for it? I read somewhere about a tea that helped stabilize insulin and blood sugar. Now I cant remember it.
Between the candida calling out for sugar and the insulin surging through my body callign for even more sugar I feel like there is no hope. The answer lies in stablizing my blood sugar and getting rid of the candida. I need answers. How do I do that?

Giving up

2011-10-20T19:53:00.000-07:00

I cannot even tell you how frustrated I am! I am not losing weight and now Im so upset that I would have to say I am angry. Angry at everyone and everything. I cannot lose this weight. Today I stood in McDonalds, having gone in there to get a movie out of Red Box, and I thought about my long day. I wanted a mint mocha so badly.. and yet I didn't want it. I stood in line to get it and then left, without a movie or the mocha. Nothing is working. I can't get on a plan and stay on it. I'm only 9 pounds from my heaviest weight ever. Do I care? I must not. If I did I would diet. I just can't find the energy to worry about diet right now. My business is taking every ounce of energy out of me. I am busy from morning till night. I hate myself in the morning when I get dressed. I hate myself in the afternoon when I am tired. I hate myself in the evening when I go to bed. I am fat. Just plain fat and I have no idea how to find the time to deal with it. I want to just stand on the rooftop and scream. I hate myself at this weight. I have no idea how to change anything. Every extra bit of energy and thought I have, is used up on every day life. I can't bring myself to count every bite again. I just don't have it in me. Is this the end? I don't know.

Lo carb

2011-09-04T16:49:00.000-07:00

The first of September I jumped on the lo carb band wagon again. I feel so much better eating proteins and vegetables. I have lost three pounds in the first three days of this month. I haven't been totally on plan but enough that I'm shedding some of this water weight.
I've been thinking of the Paeleo diet but goodness, I'm not sure I could do it. I am however, researching it and reading everything I can get my hands on. I have always eaten more protein than the average person because of my blood sugar problems. It's really not that hard to do a high protein diet. The one huge thing it has going for it, is that it takes away my ravenous appetite. I don't need to take any sort of appetite suppressants. Suppressing the insulin is an appetite suppressant in itself. I'm going to continue cutting out the majority of carbs and see what happens. I might jump on the Paeleo wagon. It might be good if I could learn how to spell it first!

Still Plugging away

2011-09-01T07:22:00.000-07:00

Im still not getting this dieting thing under control. I've had a lot of false starts but so far my weight just keeps climbing. Six pounds from now I will have gained back all 50 of the pounds I lost two years ago. Somehow I take comfort that I still have 6 pounds. Its comforting to be able to tell myself that I haven't gained it ALL back.
Even though I haven't been able to stick to a plan, and even tho I've tried many times, I'm still not ready to give up. Today I'm trying again. a new start. One of these times it will click and I will be off and running. Hopefully, this is the time.
Hey, does anybody still here from Alan from Almost Gastric Bypass? I'm curious to know if he is still keeping his weight off or how it's going for him now. I wish he would pop in now and again and update us all. I did find his blog encouraging.. I think of him often. I tell myself that if he could do it then so could I. I'm only trying to lose 80 pounds not 200! Then why in the world don't I just do it?
I just realized that today is September 1. Why is the first of something so encouraging? It brings new hope. Today I will start my diet. September 1. By December 31, I could be down 30 pounds. It all seems like it could be wrapped up so neatly now that I know its the first of September.

Me again

2011-07-25T08:09:00.000-07:00

It's Monday and hope springs eternal. I have to do this. I cannot just give up. I will figure out a way.

When Hope Is Gone

2011-07-22T20:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I lost 4 pounds since I last posted. That would be 4 pounds in 4 days. But I'm not happy. I did that by sticking with mostly protein. Even with some major cheats I managed to lose because I had just gained that weight this last month. So I lost. What aren't I happy?

Here's why; I cant get fully on board. I don't know what is holding me back. I have 12 more pounds before I weigh what I did before I lost 50 pounds in 2008. As I watch the weight creep back I just feel frantic. I feel scared. I wasn't heavy in my twenties and thirties. Then I had a baby at 40 and went all through my forties as obese. Now here I am beginning my fifties and I'm still overweight. I don't want to go another10 years overweight. Sometimes when I stop and think about my weight it just scares me to death. What sort of old age diseases am I going to have because I'm not losing the weight.

I wish there was a way to lose it that was fast yet sensible. I'm not even talking fast, as in, 50 pounds gone in two months. I'd just be happy to lose 5 - 8 pounds a month consistently! I have to do something. Yes, I've lost. But I don't feel like jubilantly declaring that I am on my way. I don't feel on my way. I feel like I lost that four pounds be default or something. There just has to be an answer.

You all would flip if you know how healthy I really do eat; eggs straight from the farm, chickens butchered with the help of my own hands, ketchup, relish, salsa, spaghetti sauces, all kinds of berries, herbs, sweet pickles, dill pickles, green beans, broccoli, cabbage, bread....all made with my own hands. All veggies grown in my own organic garden. I'm not eating all the fast food and prepared foods like most of America. I can only figure that I am taking in too many calories. Input is exceeding output.

I wish I could do medifast or something like that and then just stay on it until I had this weight off. I wish I didn't have to think about food preparation and eating. Life would be so much easier. But I do have to think about it!

I sit here in front of my computer tonight with all optimism gone...nothing ahead ,but a life of obesity, out of whack insulin and candida. Did I tell you my candida is out of control right now?

No I Didnt Disappear

2011-07-19T08:24:00.000-07:00

Well here I am again; 5 pounds heavier. Today I eat right. The funny thing is that most days I eat right. I'm eating too much of right and that's where the problem lies. I have a plan now and I'm going to work it. No more messing around. I can't continue to gain. My plan is still lo carb. Today is the first day of the rest of my life!

Lo carb

2011-07-03T21:15:00.000-07:00

So incredibly frustrated! After the 4th Im going back to lo carb and staying there! If I get carbs I just cant stop. Its awful. I want control back. I hate it when I feel like I'm at war with my own body!

Sigh Big Sigh

2011-06-19T17:10:00.000-07:00

Home from vacation...fat...very fat...joints hurt...MUST take out time for my health. But how?

Firming up my plans

2011-06-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

Okay Im back from my vacation. It's now time to get on with a plan for weight loss. The first thing I need to do is weigh and see where I'm at. Still not sure exactly which way to go diet wise, but I'm getting there. Today I must have it figured out because tomorrow I begin. I am planting the garden today and dreaming of all the fresh veggies and fruit on my property by fall. I'll check back in, in the morning and let you know my plans.

Haven't weighed

2011-05-26T06:53:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what I weigh since I haven't weighed in three days. In my diet life three days can make an incredible difference in that scales! I'm just trying to keep calories low for not and pay attention to what goes into my mouth. When I get home from vacation I may just try the hcg diet at a higher calorie level. I've spoken to a lot of real life friends and read comments here and on other blogs and it is apparent to me that you can still have incredible results while upping the calories.
I don't care what anybody says, if any of you out there are thinking about trying the hcg diet, be sure to do the cleanse first. It is not an easy diet and I have no idea why people even think that. 500 calories is just not easy. Two fruits, 7 ozs of legal meat and 2 cups of legal veggies is not easy. It's downright hard!
But I will yet find a way to do this, with or without the hcg.
I know that 9/10 of dieting is getting into the right mind set and that any diet works when you are really ready to eat right. I gotta run, I have a ton of stuff to do today to get ready for vacation. I teach only two hours today so that will give me a bit more time, thankfully!

holding my own

2011-05-24T05:52:00.000-07:00

So I'm back to counting calories, only this time I'm counting them to 1200. I hate counting calories but for me there is just no other way. Im going on a week long vacation starting the 30th. When I get back I am going to have everything prepared to tackle this weight. I am going on a new plan and I'm going to make it more doable than my last one. Until then I have to hold the weight off by calorie counting. I am so tired of dieting but the realization is dawning that I will always have to count calories if I am to avoid weight gain. Here's to the next two weeks on 1200 calories!

HCG diet is off

2011-05-21T09:06:00.000-07:00

I'm still here, but incredibly busy. I'm down a pound then up a pound, then down a pound and up a pound. I'm still taking the hcg but not following the diet as you can see. I'm not sure which way to go with this. I know one thing, I positively do not have the constitution for the 500 calorie diet. My blood sugar dips way low and yesterday I broke out with candida on my face for the first time. I have to step back and figure out what exactly it is I'm doing here. There's got to be more diets out there that work with the hcg. Dr. Simmeons protocol is just not doable for me.

Day 15

2011-05-17T08:40:00.001-07:00

So this brings me to my 2 week weigh in. I weighed this morning to get my total lost for the first 14 days. Because of my goofing around my total is not what it should be. In 14 days my net loss is 11 pounds; still not a bad loss, but I gained 2 pounds when I messed up. My current weight is 229 pounds.

So on to a new day. The sun is shining and I feel VERY ready to face this diet again.

In the days I was off I tried my coffee with half n half. I have been craving my old cup of coffee. I never drank coffee with sugar but I always had real half n half. I cant stand the powdered stuff. I was very particular about my coffee. So in those days I added half n half to my coffee. It tasted terrible. It was such a disappointment! But it can be a good thing too. Now I know there's nothing out there waiting beyond my cup of black coffee every morning.

I also had a return of my heartburn I lived with almost continually. That was no fun! I had some sugar on the first day I went off and again, my old tiredness from the insulin slump kicked in! All that is no fun. The diet is hard but all I have to struggle with there is hunger pains, psychological wishing, and migraines. The migraines come no matter what I'm eating so I may as well go for it.

This is a good day to right all wrongs. I tutor from 2:30 to 6pm. My family eats dinner at 5:30 so it will all be put away before I come downstairs from the schoolroom. I will be sequestered right over my most tempting and hungry part of the day. I'm still struggling with candida. I might have to go see a natureopath over that one!

So anyway, in spite of all my grumblings I am not down about this. I'm actually feeling very good. I have been perfectly on plan today and I will continue to stay on plan. I have added protein shakes to the main menu and it makes a world of difference.

Now I must go fix a quart of water with lemon and stevia. I have a lot to do today.

Day 14 Still messing up

2011-05-16T04:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I ate closer to 1000 cals yesterday. I did not eat all the sugar I ate on day 12 but I still messed up. I have to stop and re-evaluate. I have many friends on this diet in real life. They are not struggling like this.

I can only think that my candida is playing a larger role than I originally thought it would. From what I have read online, those with candida have way stronger hunger pains. So last night I bought a candida cleanse. I am going to do it along with the diet. I did not buy Trelac that is suppose to be so good for it. I can only find that onlne and I just wanted to see if I could get by with something I could start using today.

I am going to bring my calories up to 800 and do the hcg with the cleanse. I don't know what will happen but anything is worth a try. There is no rush. If it takes me a year to lose this weight than so be it. I just need an easier method. This has been one long nightmare. The two weeks feel like forever!

A part of me is sad that I couldn't continue like I was but instead of getting better things were getting worse. I am exhausted from fightng an uphill battle all this time. We will see how I do on the 800 calorie diet.

DAY 13

2011-05-15T09:08:00.000-07:00

I'm up a pound. I weigh 227.4, a direct result of eating sugar and calories last night. Oddly though, I feel much better about the diet. Im feeling recharged and ready to go on. Bring on the day!

still day 12

2011-05-14T17:10:00.000-07:00

I goofed. I had an apple fritter after 11 days of perfection. I'm not even sure I regret it. But anyway, I took a few more drops of hcg and I'm back on the program. It's been a rough day!

Day 12

2011-05-14T06:41:00.000-07:00

I lost half a pound yesterday. I think I had too much salt. I drank a cup of low sodium organic chicken broth and it still tasted salty. Later in the day I craved salt so I added extra to my protein. I also ate beef for the second time on this diet. Those things I will never do again until this phase is over.

Today I'm doing a garage sale and right in the middle of it, I have to leave to go speak at a children's conference. This evening I'm taking my daughter to her school play. Yesterday I made cupcakes for favors for the kids at the conference. I didn't eat a one, nor did I take a bite of one. I am doing this diet about as strictly as is humanly possible. My hope is that when I am done I will have no regrets of time wasted. This is so incredibly hard. I have no intentions of doing it again.

Day 11 Things don't really get better like they say it will.

2011-05-13T11:51:00.000-07:00

Well in all of Blogger's goofing around, they seem to have lost my day 10 post! Oh well. The diet continues to tax every bit of will power I have in me! Some days I think I might just die! Today the scales shows a loss of another 3/4 pounds. That takes me to 226 which is 14 pounds lost.

I am drinking over two quarts of liquid a day which is huge for me. I hate drinking water! My life savers are tomato slices zapped in the microwave and sprinkled with vinegar and basil. The other one is cooked apples. I cook an apple in the microwave and sprinkle it with stevia and cinnamon.

I love fish but I have noticed that I don't feel as full after using fish as my protein. I still use it though when I'm not having a real bad day. I am not a tea drinker but I have been drinking more tea on this diet than I have in my entire life.

Yesterday's food:

baked apple slices
7 oz grilled chicken
lettuce
microwaved tomatoes
3 garlic melba toast rounds
1/2 grapefruit

When you look at how little food is actually on this diet, it's easy to see that one has to be living off the fat that the hcg triggers the body to release. Otherwise, it would be impossible to survive!
I really don't think that I am hungry. Yes, my stomach growls a lot, but I think most of my problem on this diet is in my head. I just want to eat the good food all around me!

Oh well, I will hang in there! Are there any other hcg'ers reading this? If so, how much weight have you lost and what day are you on?

Day 10

2011-05-12T07:45:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a roller coaster of emotions I have been on! I awoke this morning feeling a bit down, soooo incredibly unlike me. I stumbled to the kitchen to get some coffee and accidentally put too much milk in. I am only allowed 1 T of milk and I use that in my coffee. I looked at that cup of creamy coffee and longed for it. But did I drink it? No. I dumped it down the drain and started over. I don't want anything to stop my weight loss!

Turning from the coffee pot, I glanced out the window. The sun was shining! My spirits lifted. I remembered all the reasons that I am putting myself through this; summer sunshine and summer play, a family reunion, not feeling so hot during the summer, having the ability to walk with ease, taking pressure off my back so I can garden more easily, etc. It hit me again that I have no choice. I have to do this. I just have to!

So what did the scale this morning? 227! I lost a pound and a half on day 9 bringing me to a total of 13 pounds lost. I will do this another day and then another. I will keep trudging along to the finish line. Only 13 more days to go!

Day 9

2011-05-11T06:44:00.000-07:00

I did go to the support group last night. It helped a ton. They gave me a big notebook with all the phases in it, along with lots of recipes. That will save me a lot of googling time. Things went easier yesterday. It's positively crucial to stay away from food places, such as; restaurants and fast food, or even the grocery store.
I went to Safeway last night to try and find grissinni and I cant find it anywhere so I guess I have to stick with melba toast. But anyway, temptation was everywhere. I think I better stay out of stores till this is over.
I didn't cheat at all yesterday. So far I have had a perfect run with this diet. I lost .75lbs yesterday which brings me to 11.5 pounds lost. I weighed 228.8. I don't really go by all the tenths on the scale unless it hits the half way mark. But if its like 4oz or 2 oz I always round my weight. So yesterday was 229.4. That's why the loss is three quarters of a pound.
Well on to a new diet. One lady told me that I could have tuna on this diet and another told me I can't. The original diet said no tuna but they are saying now that it was written before tuna was canned in water. It use to all be canned in oil. I think that would be true of gobs of stuff on our shelves now. I really wonder how the diet would have been written if it would have been written for now.
Last night I found some Pita crackers at Safeway. I compared the ingredients to melba toast and they are pretty much the same. If anything, I would say that the Pita bread was better. It was less of a lot of the ingredients but the Pita crackers weren't made when Simmeon made the diet. I bought them anyway. One cracker has 13 calories. I decided to use them for a wee bit different taste. I cannot even imagine that it would throw things off. If it does I will stop. I'll let you all know.
Well I must get on with the day. I'm drinking my black coffee right now. I'm going to cook an apple in the microwave and put some stevia and cinnamon on it to have with my coffee this morning. My blood sugar feels quite low!

Day 8) 11 pounds lost

2011-05-10T07:57:00.000-07:00

I have successfully completed the 7th day on HCG. In that first week I have lost 11 pounds. Last Tuesday morning I weighed 240 lbs. This Tuesday I weigh 229! It's going to be way more of an incentive now that I'm in the 220's. My weight had been bouncing around in the upper 30's for months. It's going to be nice to get some new numbers on that scale.

I have a whole closet full of clothes I grew out of. My lowest weight in 2008 was 207 from a high of 256. From there on it's been a continual gain with lows and highs but ultimately it was the highs that stuck.

I had decided last week that there was no way I was going to do another round of this when this round is over, but yesterday and today so many of the intense cravings are gone that I am rethinking that. The diet just got so much easier the 6th day.

We have an Hcg diet support group that meets at our church. I did not want to join it because I was so adamantly against this diet and now that I did the diet I'm not sure I want anyone to know! It's all about my pride, I guess. But now I'm feeling in huge need of support. I feel like I just want to be reassured that I am not in this alone. I joined a support group online but it is not enough.

The meeting is tonight. I must make up my mind about it today.

Day 7

2011-05-09T08:49:00.000-07:00

So even though I am posting this on day 7 I have only completed day 6 of the protocol. Today is my 7th day and of course I wont have todays results until tomorrow. I have been on this program for 6 days and this morning I show a 10 pound loss. The weight loss is great but the diet is incredibly hard. It's really not that I'm hungry it's just that you crave real taste. Eating just 2.5 ozs of cooked meat at every meal means that even if you make something with a little spice you are only allowed about three bites of it, so it really doesn't make one want to spice things up. It's easier to eat the small amounts if they dont taste that great anyway. Isn't that just pathetic of me? I awoke this morning feeling a bit down. That never happens to me. I am usually loving the morning. I'm guessing my blood sugar might be low - another facet of the diet I am on. Well here's to another lo cal day.

Day 6

2011-05-08T13:59:00.000-07:00

Well I have experienced many emotions and physical discomfort. I have been plagued with stomach aches and headaches. I wake up at night and feel nauseated from low blood sugar. It's amazing how a few drops of Hcg will take that headache and nauseated feeling away.

I have no idea what I'm doing weight wise because I haven't been able to weigh. I'm in Seattle visiting my mother in law. Yesterday I weighed and I had only lost .4 so I'm hoping for a better loss tomorrow morning when I'm at home and I can weigh.

I am a bit worried though, This morning we went out to a smorgasbord for mother's day breakfast. I had just plain lettuce with tomatoes and cucumber. There wasn't any breakfast meat that I could eat so I picked the white parts out of the boiled eggs in the salad bar and added a bit of Parmesan cheese. My stomach felt quite sick with all that lettuce on it. Lettuce never does digest well with me.

We sat there long enough that they brought the lunch things in so I was able to get a slice of turkey breast which is technically not on the diet. You can have chicken breast but not turkey. I really had no choice but to choose the turkey. The other meat was bacon, sausage, roast beef, breaded shrimp and ham.

The turkey worries me a bit. It tasted incredibly salty and caused me a lot of stomach distress. So we'll see how things turn out. Tomorrows weigh in will tell me a lot about what my body can and cannot get by with on this diet.

Day 5

2011-05-07T08:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was tough! On top of it all I came down with a sudden painful migraine! I only lost .4 lbs. I didn't drink enough water which I'm sure is a reason for the migraine and probably for the lack of a bigger loss. But then I can't complain. I have lost 8 pounds now in the last four days.

Yesterday I had an orange and half a grapefruit, a cucumber with vinegar on it, 3.5 ozs. fish and 3.5ozs of chicken with mustard. I also had 2 pieces of melba toast. I didn't eat my one vegetable allowed because I ran out of time.

This diet is tough! I wonder if I can last for the entire 23 days of the first protocol. I have to do it though. I don't have a choice!

Day Four

2011-05-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, here's the scoop. I started this plan on Tuesday, May 3. I have eaten perfectly for 3 days now. Tuesday morning I weighed 240, the highest weight I have seen since 2008. My highest nonpregnant weight was 252 in January of 2008. That year I lost 50 pounds. In 2009 and 2010 I slowly gained. Now here I am in 2011 weighing 240. I had gained back 38 of those 50 pounds. I was getting desperate.
That's when I read about the HCG diet. I researched it for months before going on it this week. I watched my friends do the diet and lose weight. I finally decided that I had to get on board or I would continue to gain and I was afraid of where that gain would take me this time.
So Tuesday morning I weighed 240. This Friday morning I weigh 232.8. I have lost 7.5 pounds in three days. The diet is incredibly tough but as long as the weight continues to come off I am happy.

Day 3

2011-05-05T19:21:00.001-07:00

Weighed 2.5 pounds lighter this morning for a total of 6 pounds lost. Feeling like I could eat a house!

Tough going

2011-05-04T08:14:00.000-07:00

Okay I stuck to the diet perfectly yesterday. This is one cruel diet! It's amazing though how the drops help with appetite, Of course, the diet guidelines say that you are going to be feeding off your own fat so in a couple of days I will find out how well that will actually go.

So yesterday was my first day on the diet.
I had 3.5 oz of fish and 3.5 oz grilled chicken breast
I ate steamed broccoli and green beans with a bit of red pepper
I had two pieces of melba toast and an apple and an orange.

That's it. The HCG is suppose to mobilize the body's fat stores and feed off of that instead of muscle. Because of the stringency of the diet you can only do it for 40 days before stopping for a 6 week break. I'm excited to see how this goes.

I lost 3.5 pounds yesterday.

Day 2 of the loading phase

2011-05-02T22:05:00.000-07:00

Today was the last day of loading with fats. I'm a bit worried that I haven't loaded properly. It sounds great to be able to eat anything you want to eat for two days but with candida, irritable bowel syndrome and hypoglocemia, it means you really can't do that without getting very ill. So although I tried to load the last two days, the jury is still out on how well I did. If I didn't do it right I will have a terrible time the first few days on Phase 2.

How am I feeling about 40 days of eating 500 calories? I am very apprehensive. I'm worried about everything from heart attacks to leg cramps. On the other hand, I have to lose this weight. If I don't there are all sorts of other risks.

Im excited about the weight loss that is sure to come but....
,

Okay, Here we go Day ! Phase 1

2011-05-01T16:54:00.000-07:00

After much thought and a lot of wimping out and a lot of whining and a lot of tentative apprehension I finally decided to jump in with both feet. I am going to do the HCG diet. Yes, it's controversial but its less invasive than gastric bypass and it has the same weight loss results. I personally know 7 people who have done this diet and they are totally different people today.

I was the loudest critic of this when it first started making its rounds in my group of friends. But now here they are all skinny and petite and I am still fat. So I will join them. The diet may have it's drawbacks but so does staying fat.

I am going to erase old posts on this blog because they go back to 2008. There is no sense keeping all of that. I'm going to delete everything up to this year in January. It's all a new start.

Today I began the loading phase of the diet. I take the drops and load up on anything I want to eat. There are great scientific reasons why this works and I don't have the time to go into it right now. I do, however, plan on blogging my progress daily along with the limited food that I consume.

So here it is; hats off to a new diet and a new me.

Terrible

2011-04-23T23:37:00.001-07:00

The diet is going awful. That's all I have to say.

Todays diet

2011-03-23T14:40:00.000-07:00

Today's food:

1 flax seed muffin (150 cals)

snow peas 50 cals

organic rice crackers (gluten free) with lite laughing cow cheese (150 cals)

1 skinny caramel latte (150 cals)

After noon snack still to come:

1/2 of a flax seed muffin (those things have 10 grams of fiber in them and really fill me up)

Dinner:
a salad
grilled cod

tonights snack:
an orange

I am feeling very motivated. My head is in the game and that's nine tenths of the struggle. Spring is around the corner and I am just so ready to be thin! I've exercised twice this week which is huge for me! I'm actually feeling some excitment over this. I really do think the false starts are over. I get so tired of false starts. I need to do this for my health. There are just no options left!

It's take the weight off or be in pain and uncomfortable the rest of my life. Man, I'm feeling empowered!

Diet

2011-03-21T12:04:00.000-07:00

Still hanging in there. I have decided to make Fridays my weigh in day. Things are going well. Im keeping my calories at about 1400 and trying to eat lots of fiber. Hoping for a good weigh in Friday!

On My Way

2011-03-18T09:31:00.000-07:00

I realize that a lot of the reason I struggle with weight loss is because of negative talk in my head. I have dieted so much of my life that I find a bit of rebellious freedom in nit dieting and eating anything I want. If I start a diet plan and mess up the first day I can tell myself its no big deal cause I really haven't been dieting anyway and I can always start tomorrow.

Its strange really...you see, I have never had a huge thing with food where I get up at night and eat, nor do I eat a lot of prepackaged and unhealthy foods. I grow my own veggies and can my own food. I make dinner every night for my family.

My problem with weight is simply that I consume more calories than I burn. I am a teacher so most of my day consists of sitting or standing. I am really going to try to get out and exercise at least three times a week. I use to be a huge exercise fan. I exercised daily for over three years. Then I had surgery and then a baby and I never got back to it.

I really feel my determination growing to actually do this and be successful this time!! I need to plan my daily intake a little better. Instead of eating something and then counting it, I need to count it and then eat it. I'm excited to get rolling on this! Summer is around the corner and I would love to have about 30 pounds off by the fourth of July. Here in Oregon we don 't really hit summer until July. Up until that point it's pretty much solid rain.

Thirty pounds by July is doable if I focus and count every calorie! I've been reading the Beck Diet Solution to get my head in the game and get these negative thoughts turned around!

today

2011-03-16T23:44:00.000-07:00

Stayed within my calorie limit. Feeling motivated. I can do this!

A diet for everything, for everything a diet

2011-03-12T09:32:00.000-08:00

I canceled my WW subscription. I have spent $93 for nothing. It hit me today that my biggest problem is that I dont have a plan.
I get up in the morning determined to count calories. By noon I realize that there is no way that I will be able to stay in my calorie limits for the day so I switch to Atkins because I have had a ton of protein and miraculously no carbs. So I am still within the Atkins plan regardless of calories consumed. Then along comes the late afternoon and I really crave carbs. I switch to the Carbohydrate Addicts diet that allows you to have unlimited carbs for one hour a day. I eat my unlimited carbs and the hour is up.
Much later it is time for dinner. Hubby brings home some pita bread and some greek olives. I think of all the wonderful combinations I could make with cream cheese, smoked salmon the pita bread and olives, some bruschetta and...oh, that is the Omega 3 Diet. Okay so now I will switch to the Omega 3 diet. That will probably be a better fit anyway. So by 7:00 I have consumed way too many calories all within the limits of some diet some where.
There's a problem with knowing too much about diets! Okay, this is written with a little bit of satire but you get the point.
I really need a diet plan I can stick with. I have to do some serious thinking here. The real problem is that I need to get serious about losing weight!! Any plan works when I work the plan!

Epiphany

2011-03-11T17:52:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to analyze the way I've been feeling the last year or so about my weight. It's much different than what I was feeling when I was younger. First let me say, that as a child I was not overweight. By younger I mean ten years ago, which would put me at about 41 years of age. I had a baby at 40 years old. I wasnt worried much about my weight then even though I weighed 256 pounds at full term. I had other worries, such as, caring for my baby and 4 year old daughter. I was also dealing with a rebellious teen age child so weight loss wasnt a priority.
I definitely never thought about how my weight effected how people perceived me. Now 10 years later I have a whole different reason for losing weight. Now that I am working more in the public eye I get the feeling sometimes that I would be taken more seriously if I was thinner. It's nothing I can put my finger on. Maybe it's my own inferiority about it. But whatever it is, I now want to lose weight so I can feel that what I have to offer in my field of work, is recognized and taken seriously. It's strange to feel this way. It's even strange and uncomfortable to admit it and write it here.

To keep myself on track

2011-03-03T16:17:00.000-08:00

Todays eats:

smoked salmon
1 boiled egg
stone ground bread

1/2 of a flax seed muffin

3 oz baked chicken
1/2 c. sweet potato salad

clementine orange

Im going to WW this Saturday. I haven't been there since the first day

Going with what works

2011-02-26T14:06:00.000-08:00

After spending four days out of town at my daughters volleyball tournament, I find myself heavier still. Enough is enough. Im going to use weight watchers for the weigh ins and the motivation but Im not going to do their diet. I just dont have time to figure it all out. I've decided that with my life style and my habits I wil do quite well on WW old Core Diet.
Food for today is:
2 organic farm eggs
spinach salad with oil/vinegar dressing
1 cup of mixed legumes with lemon juice/ olive oil/ and herbs (garbanzo beans, blackpeas, kidney beans, yellow wax beans)
My afternoon snack will be a mixture of blueberries and bananas tossed with a bit of yogurt.
Tonight I'm having grilled cod and green beans.
I have a family reunion in September and it's imperative that I lose this weight by then. That's about 27 weeks from now. I would love to lose 50 pounds by then. That would mean I would only need to lose 2 pounds a week. I really can do this. I know I can!!

Weight Watchers Points; confusing and time consuming

2011-02-17T07:41:00.000-08:00

I want a cup of coffee. I want chocolate, but the chocolate is out. I am struggling incredibly on my diet. I know the big reason is stress, but I put my finger on another thing today. I just signed up for Weight Watchers a couple of weeks ago and I'm discouraged that I can't stick with it.

The reason, as determined by me today, is that I don't really understand the points in the new system. I have to find time to feed everything into the point counter on the website just to see how many points I have. I just don't have the time to do that, so I'm frustrated and *just eat anything. I understand calories. If I eat an of cheese its roughly 100 cals. How do I know what it is in points unless I take time to go to my computer and find it on my ww page and add it in. Seriously, I must be missing something...or else everyone is leading a much slower life thn I am!

*Actually, I don't really eat "just anything". Today I had a lean cuisine for lunch and a chicken salad for dinner, but in between I had a chocolate heart, a handful of trail mix, and a cookie. I just need to stay on plan. Ugh. So frustrating!

Oh UGH!

2011-02-14T19:57:00.001-08:00

I cant get on plan! My head is not in the game! I have to stop this nonsense and start tracking my food. This is just the very height of stupidity!

So stressed

2011-02-07T02:47:00.000-08:00

I should have lost way more than 1 pound last week but I didnt so there ya have it. We are dealing with security issues at my school and now I have to move all my students and classes. Its been a full time job just fielding the calls and concerns of the parents.

On top of that, my husband is out of town, sitting by the bedside of his dying sister. Im left to deal with the school crisis and my kids who are upset at the changes both at school and at home. Eating properly has not come easy.

It is now almost 3 am and I haven't slept all night due to stress. Stress is not good for weight loss. My plan is take a walk when the sun comes up and see if I can release some of this pent up frustration. I then intend to eat right and stick to my weight watchers plan this week.

I went out and bought weight watchers prepared meals to get me started. I have so much on my mind and so much going on that I just dont have time or room in my brain to figure my own points. So for now it will have to be frozen foods and free point foods until I can think again.

I Went

2011-01-29T16:10:00.000-08:00

Okay, you guys, I did it! I went to WW. Im glad I did. I feel incredibly motivated. Now to address some of the comments below. Lisa wonders how tall I am. I am 5' 4". If you look on my sidebar you will find a link to my before pics. I started at 252 pounds in 2008. I lost down to 211 that year. This morning I weighed 234.5 pounds. There isnt a pic on my website that is exactly that weight. The closest would be the one that is 12 pounds less then what I was this morning. Anyway, over at my site Pics to Chronicle my Weight Loss, you can see what I looked like at my heaviest and what I looked like at 209, my lowest weight in 15 years.
At Weight Watchers this morning, having eaten breakfast and weighing in fully clothed I weighed an even 236. That is the weight I am going to go by when I record my losses and such in this blog.

Getting scared

2011-01-29T08:28:00.000-08:00

Oh great! I had determined that I would go to WW this morning. Now that the morning is here I don't want to go. How dumb is that? I'm thinking of the commitment it will take to get there every Saturday. The nearest WW meeting is 6 miles from here. Do I really want to get up every Saturday morning and drive out there to Timbuktu and weigh? Why can't I do this on my own? Do I really have the money? If I had all the money I've wasted on quack dieting I'd be rich. Why did I decide I needed help with this? I'm not hugely overweight. I can shop in all the normal stores. How important is this to me? Why is it so cold and yucky outside? Ugh! It's just ridiculous that I have to resort to meetings where everybody groans about their weight. I hate sitting around with fat people....~~like myself~~. Maybe because I have all these doubts, it means I'm not really ready to commit and lose the weight? No! I really want to do this. But I don't want to go.

Decision Made

2011-01-26T13:12:00.000-08:00

I give up. I cant do this on my own. I need to lose the weight and lose it now. Im signing up for Weight Watchers. I did it years ago but I have no idea how the new program works. Im not going to sign up online either. Nope! Im going to a real life meeting! I've simply had it. My first meeting is Saturday. Wish me success!!

Not Again!

2011-01-21T21:34:00.000-08:00

Didn't do well at all today. Thank God tomorrow is another day and I haven't eaten a thing in that day yet. I'm going to have to do this. I need to lose weight to make my knees feel better. I really need to lose the weight. I have to focus and get serious. This is not optional! I went to Applebees with friends today and ordered the 500 calorie steak and shrimp. It was delicious! That put me at 600 calories for the day. I would have been fine but then I did the unthinkable. I ordered the triple chocolate melt desert. It too was heavenly. But now I have another day behind me with too many calories! I must get a grip.

Frantically scrambling to get back on

2011-01-18T14:03:00.000-08:00

Oh this is just awful. I cant get things back where they were. What's so hard about drinking water and protein shakes and snacking on protein bars until dinner? At dinner I can have a dinner salad and a lean cuisine. That's not so hard! Why am I making it difficult? I am so mad at myself. I just want to lose this weight. I must stick to what I know works.

PS. Do not email me and tell me I can snack on raw veggies. I cant. I have IBS and I never know when raw veggies will trigger an extreme bout of diarrhea. I cant afford to have all that pain and cramping when I'm teaching school. During the school day and when I'm away at tournaments I have to eat as bland as possible to avoid an attack.

A Sad Tale

2011-01-15T12:05:00.000-08:00

Aaaargghh! I must figure out how best to eat away from home. My daughter has a lot of volleyball tournaments that mean sitting all day in games. I pack a cooler and the proper snacks but I somehow gain weight every tournament. Some of it is water weight from not moving much all day and some of it has to be that I am eating too many calories of the good things. So now my plan is to pack only 1200 calories of stuff in the cooler. Of course, there's always a food table set up but I've been pretty successful at staying away from that.

I just have to figure this thing out. Yesterday I had breakfast of scrambled eggs and a sausage patty. I ate only seeds and nuts, dried fruit and cheese, water, coffee, diet Pepsi, and jerky at the tournament. I rode 4 hours on a bus, sat 10 hours on bleachers and rode four hours back. I gained 2 pounds.

Frustrating

2011-01-12T15:30:00.000-08:00

I figured I may as well stop by Starbucks for a coffee. I bought a creme broulee latte and and noticed how sweet it tasted. I usually get a skinny latte for 150 calories. But today I wanted something more. I actually felt I deserved it. The day had been a rough one! So I bought a coffee. When I got home I checked the calories on the computer. Oh my word! I had just drank 420 calories. I am so bummed. I knew it had a lot but somehow I justified it. When you actually see the calories on paper its harder to find the reason I thought was good enough to buy it in the first place. So anyway, that puts my calories up to 970 for the day. It's 3:30 pm. It looks like I will have a small supper tonight. A lean cuisine will most likely be on the menu.

Weekend Bump

2011-01-10T06:56:00.000-08:00

I was at my daughters volleyball tournament all day yesterday and by all day I mean from 7am to 7pm. Food choices were limited. I packed an Atkins protein drink and had that midmorning. Other than that I had several slices of cheese and meat and some sun chips. At a coffee break I had a cinnamon roll. I was under my calories for the day but I'm not necessarily happy with that. Today I plan on bumping those calories up to 1200 and making them all healthy calories.

Im going to have my protein shakes and bars with a couple 100 calorie snacks in between. Tonight will be a lean cuisine.

I feel so much better when I eat right that any sacrifice I might feel as a result is well worth it. I find that if I keep my protein levels up I don't have the food cravings. I have to do a bit better at getting those simple carbs out of my diet. I am planning for a perfect on plan day today with at least 8 cups of liquids.

The scale is still going down but I will wait until next Friday morning to post my loss.

Weigh in day

2011-01-07T08:49:00.000-08:00

I'm surprised at how motivated I am to do this. Sometimes a person can just try and try to lose weight and just never get off the ground. The solution is to never quit trying. Okay, so this is Friday morning. I'm making Fridays my weigh in day. I have lost exactly 5 pounds now from the first of January. I was 235 I am now 230. I like nice round numbers! I will get to goal this year! I am sure of that. My goal weight is 175. No I wont be a runway model at that weight but I will be healthier. If I lose more than that its fine. If I lose less than that it is not fine. So here I go for the ride! Follow along if you like!

Off to a Running Start

2011-01-05T20:21:00.000-08:00

Well here I am. This is Wednesday night. I started my diet with new determination Monday. When I weighed in I was not happy. It appears that since January of 2008 I have a net loss of 18 pounds. That comes after reaching a 50 pound goal in January 2009. From that spring of 2009 until now it has been three pounds gained, one pound lost, two pounds gained, 1 pound lost. Back and forth it has gone until now I am here in January of 2011 weighing 235 for the new year. In January of 2008 when I started this blog I weighed 252.

Well that was Monday that I weighed 235. This is two days later and I weigh 231. I intend to continue to back down the scale. AAAAAAAnnnnnd, drum roll, in those three days I have went out walking twice; Monday and today. I'm proud of myself.

It got a little rough today. I about thought I could eat a house, but instead here is my days food:

1 sl. stoneground whole wheat bread
2 oz cheese
I orange
1 small slice of honeydew melon
1 Atkins protein drink
1 small yellow pepper
1 oz of cheese again
sunflower seeds
lean cuisine

This is an average of 1200 calories. I'm happy with that!

Happy New Year to a Thinner Me!

2011-01-03T19:14:00.000-08:00

Well I cant seem to find the time to make another blog so I guess for now I stay here. Okay, so I started eating right again and boy, am I glad to have that junk out of my system! Today I've stayed on plan all day. So what is my plan?

I am eating my regular half sandwich for breakfast. I have done for that for a couple of years now and it's what works best. Its a slice of bread and 1oz of protein. The rest of the day is Atkins protein shakes and bars. For dinner I have stocked up on Lean Cuisines. I don't want any cooking or any figuring. I am way too busy for that these days.

The cool thing about this is that my husband is doing the same thing so it will make it so much easier. Thanks to my few weeks with Allan's Challenge I have realized how much I really did need the liquid. So I have been doing my best to up the water in my diet.

Well, I'm out of here now to take a walk. It's bitter cold out there but a woman has to do what a woman has to do. I am determined to lose 60 pounds this year! You are more than welcome to follow along for the ride because this really is going to happen! Mark my words!

Changing blogs

2010-12-26T12:50:00.000-08:00

Im moving this blog for a fresh start in 2011. I have had this blog now for two years and I would just like to start anew. I feel like I cant say what I want to say when this blog is connected to my two other weblogs. My dieting personality is a far cry from the one on my other blogs. If you would like to continue to follow me you can email me at gtsawjata(at)yahoo.com. I will be taking this one down the first of the year.

The Tooth Diet

2010-12-22T14:08:00.000-08:00

I have a new weight loss diet. Its called a toothache. I dont recommend it unless nothing else is working for ya. Seriously I am in so much pain and I am hungry. Even my protein shakes upset the fragile ecosystem of my mouth!

I am proud of myself. I haven't baked all the cookies and stuff I usually do this season. I plan in baking a Christmas desert for my guests the night before Christmas. I would love to find a wonderful sugar free desert. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Determined

2010-12-20T09:27:00.000-08:00

Well its a new week and a new chance. I really need to focus this week. Yeah, I know it's Christmas week and a weird week to put the claps on but do you know something? So far I have not gained a pound this December. That is victory. I often out in as much as ten to 11 pounds in this month. So even though I'm having an awful time getting in my fluids and staying at 1200 calories, at least I am not gaining. This week I intend to drink my way through it. I have no other option if I want to lose weight by spring. So here goes; the first 12 ozs are down; only 112 more to go!

Bombed: Edited

2010-12-19T12:58:00.001-08:00

Well I dropped out of the Challenge. My weight is the same as last week and I am not able to drink all the fluids so there is no point hanging in there and skewing the results. Im still going to try to do this on my own though.

EDIT: Allen emailed me and let me know he didnt care if I stayed in even though I hadn't lost so I guess Im still on board. What a nice guy!

My brain has left the building

2010-12-16T20:25:00.000-08:00

Hanging on by a thread. This has got to get better, doesnt it? This is not a good week for me weight wise. Im having trouble with the fluids. I am at the end of Thursday and with a jolt I realized I didnt even try to drink the fluids today..didnt even think about it! I cant get anywhere like this! To be fair its not just my fluids I forgot today. I forgot my daughters volleyball practice and her violin lessons. I also forgot my sons basketball practice...all today! This is when I know I am too busy. I must pull back.

Weight loss has been sent in

2010-12-12T17:59:00.000-08:00

So I had to email Allan with only a pound loss but at least it was a loss. I had a huge party here Thursday night. I didn't do too badly and I'm sure I was under my goal calories for the day but I wanted to do 1200 instead of the goal which is 1700. I think the real bad thing for me was that lots of people decided to leave their food here so they wouldn't have to take it home and eat it! So I slipped up time after time on Friday and Saturday; a chocolate here, party mix there until I was hitting 1500 calories all on the wrong things.

I have found that it is so much easier to eat at 1200 calories if I use Atkins bars and shakes for meal supplements. I teach school and during the day I just don't have time to worry about eating. A premade shake or a bar is the ticket for me.

Its the same problem with getting in my fluids. I cant leave the room to refill my water or coffee and I cant leave to pee if I did manage to fill it. It all makes this very hard. Even stopping to take a sip of a drink is license for the kids to lose their focus and start acting out. I work with learning disabled kids and their attention span is small.

Regardless of all this, I am determined to continue this and post a better weight loss next week.

Ugh

2010-12-11T08:49:00.000-08:00

I'm struggling. Yes, I lost a pound this week but my food intake hasn't been perfect. Calorie wise I am still under my goal weight calories but my food hasn't been made up of healthy choices. On the other hand I haven't succumbed to cookies and cake and pies and such. I'm not sure what the "off" feeling is from. I think a lot of it is coming from the fact that I went over 1200 calories. I am allowed to go to 1700 but in all my weight loss history I have never been able to lose at that amount. I guess all the fluids are suppose to aid in that but these first few days of fluids are not easy. I still haven't managed to get 16 cups of fluids down in a day. My body thinks its drowning as it is.

So today I have nothing to do but just go for it. I have to just believe that the science behind the calories and water will work. We'll see.

Water

2010-12-08T19:42:00.000-08:00

Well Ive drank more water in the last two days than I have in the last two years! I kid you not. Its all for the Challenge.

I have to remember to take in the fluids!

2010-12-02T22:09:00.000-08:00

I've been keeping my calories at 1200 this week and am trying to drink my fluids. Today was a terrible day for the liquids. I got incredibly busy teaching and when I looked at the clock I discovered that four hours had gone by without a bit of fluid or anything entering my mouth. That is not good when I basically have to be drinking every minute to get all the fluids down.

I'm eating oatmeal or cheese with whole grain bread for breakfast. From then on I'm drinking Atkins protein drinks and eating Atkins protein bars through out the day. That way I don't have to think about calories and what to eat. At dinner I am eating high protein with veggies.

Everytime I cut my calories I get migraines so this has been one headachy week for me!

Big Mistake

2010-11-30T20:23:00.000-08:00

Oh my word. So in this challenge I am suppose to drink 126 ozs of water. Im thinking that's not too bad. Well was I ever wrong! You see I was all mixed up and for some reason I was figuring 16 ozs to a cup! Imagine my surprise when it dawned on me that instead of drinking 8 glasses of water I would be drinking 16!. ! was thinking to myself that everyone in the challenge was sure making a big deal out of this water thing! Well no wonder! I guess its obvious without me saying, that I only drank half my liquids today! Wow! I really have to start chugging the fluids tomorrow if I'm going to keep up with everyone!

Joined the Challenge

2010-11-27T10:01:00.000-08:00

I have joined Alans Challenge for weight loss. Weigh in is Sunday. His Challenge is to eat the calories that you would eat to maintain weight if you were at goal weight and then drink an allotted amount of water that he somehow figures out with some formula of his. He has lost 160 some pounds in six months doing it this way, so I'm on board! But oh my, you all know how I hate drinking anything but coffee. Well I have to drink my allotted 105 ozs. minimum to make this work. He counts all fluids, however, which makes this diet a little easier. So here I go; a new direction but I'm hugely hopeful it will work since the only way of losing weight that has ever worked for me is cutting calories. Of course, I still have to watch that I don't eat raw veggies because of my stomach problems and that I don't eat sugar because of my blood sugar issues. Not being able to eat sugar is a good thing. Eating it wont get me to my goal anyway. But not being able to eat salads and vegetables is a bad thing and makes nutritious eating a tad more difficult. But when I think that I could be to goal by summer then everything is worth it! I will not give up...EVER!

Why oh why?

2010-11-26T17:44:00.000-08:00

Today I ate the gingerbread trifle that I rejected yesterday. Why? because I am upset over a phone call. Oh great. That's really going to help me lose the weight. Grrr! Why do I do such dumb things? It's not just the weight loss. Its the fact that my body doesnt handle sugar well. Oh yeah, you guessed it! Three bites of the gingerbread, whipcream and pudding and I'm so tired I cant do a thing. That was really worth it, wasnt it? NOT!

Survived

2010-11-26T09:56:00.001-08:00

I survived with only an 8oz gain. Im happy about that.

Just Words

2010-11-22T00:24:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm losing weight again. Last week I lost four pounds from Friday to Friday and this week I've already lost a pound. Met an old friend the other day that is heavier than I am. Something was said about weight and she said,"Come on. You don't think that some day you will really be thin do you? Why don't you just enjoy life and forget about it?" That totally threw me for a loop. Do people really do that? What would happen if I quit trying? How big would I get? The thought scares me. I have no intention of quitting although I have to admit that what she said plays over and over in my mind. It tends to throw me off track. I hate it. I wish she would have never said it!

Denial

2010-10-23T21:11:00.000-07:00

Is this what its all about? Deny, deny, deny. Tonight I ate a small blizzard. I wanted a big one. I ate the small cause I knew I should. I went all week eating mostly protein and trying not to go over 30 carbs a day. Did it work? No! I gained a pound. That's why I had the blizzard. I had to some how get even with somebody or something!

I'm not done trying. I'm going to pick myself up and keep going. This is soooooo hard. Why, oh why isn't there an easier way? I eat protein, I get constipated. I add in the salads and raw veggies and get an IBS attack. I eat sugar I get yeast infections. I eat grains and I feel ....hmmm... I guess I feel okay. Now what?

Ive thought this thing through till my head aches

2010-10-18T07:14:00.000-07:00

Its Monday, the beginning of a new week. I have been sick all weekend but I did manage to prepare somewhat for my diet this coming week. My main goal is to eat positively nothing prepared. I must avoid sugar like the plague! I just cannot believe the damage sugar does to my system. I'm in denial so much of the time then suddenly I get incredibly sick from it and the truth has to be faced.

So no sugar! I've done very well this weekend eating only real foods and that's the way I intend to keep it. I'm really going to have to work hard if I want to see a loss for the month. I hope I don't jinx anything by saying this but I really feel like I'm back in the game now.

When school started in September my body did its normal fall stress thing: gain weight, eat whatevers in sight cause now I don't have any time. For years I have gained weight when schools starts. I teach school and I know its the stress of getting back to teaching and the lack of time to concentrate on diet.

September is over and so is half of October. I made it through without a huge weight gain. Sometimes I feel like I am fighting for my very life here. I don't know how to swim in water and I feel like I have the same feelings about dieting. I'm drowning. The days are muddled with eating whatever I can grab in my busy life.

I like clean eating days; days when I know exactly what I ate and days that I know that what I ate was healthy!

I'm trying to cut down on my coffee. That is huge in my life!! I need to cut back on coffee to drink more water. I drank about three glasses of water yesterday. That is a big accomplishment for me!

So this week is all about eating real food, drinking water, and getting outside to walk. That's really what health and losing weight is all about! It seems so easy...and yet..its so hard!

After Hours of Research

2010-10-17T10:41:00.000-07:00

I have a cold, a bad one! But in one way it has been a good thing. It has slowed me down enough that I have had lots of time to research this way of eating. I think I may be getting a handle on exactly what I am suppose to eat and what I'm not suppose to.

This yeast diet is not for the feint of heart. I am simply amazed at how little is out there about this yeast problem. I finally found a forum where the people are pretty knowledgeable and where they have some resources listed for recipes and such.

The diet consists of a lot of vegetables and I am not a vegetable lover. It looks like I will have to become one if I want to wipe out this candida. Of course, I don't mind cooked veggies, in fact I'm quite fond of them cooked, but this diet puts a strong emphasis on the raw veggies.

I really dont have a choice about this diet. I itch all over. It's now become a survival thing!

At a dead end

2010-10-15T17:24:00.000-07:00

I broke out with another case of candida. I have the yeast rash all over my legs and back and stomach. The doctor says there is nothing they can do about it and that it is more of a thing for an naturopathic doctor. Well that's great but if you don't know of any naturopaths or you don't have the money for one, then what? Do you just live with this stuff?

All I want is sugar! Seriously I just crave it. I read that is a result of the yeast. So now what? I have no idea.

Walked

2010-10-12T06:16:00.000-07:00

Actually went outside and walked yesterday! I havent done that for at least a month! Felt good. Im determined to fit it into my morning routine!

Still thinking this thing over

2010-10-09T20:35:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am almost completely convinced that I am not having any bad reactions to wheat. I do not have Celiac disease. I do, however, have a huge reaction to sugar, so sugar has to be out of the diet for me. I've been doing quite a bit of research. It seems like the only way to keep the sugar in check is to eat a whole foods diet. Its just too hard to watch the sugar if I eat prepared foods. It is EVERYWHERE!!

I don't have the time to read all the labels. Its going to be much easier and healthier to just eat back to nature type foods. I grow my own food and cook most meals from scratch so this is actually easier for me in theory than for most people. What is hard is that the sugar foods taste so good. I like sugar, but I cannot live with what it does to my body! I just cant! I get so tired and bone weary when I take in sugar.

So my goal this coming week is to stay away from prepared foods of any sort.

I had bought some shoes for walking and promptly lost the left one. I finally found it so this week I have no excuse not to walk. Tune in to see how it's going!

Not giving up

2010-10-08T08:02:00.000-07:00

Well my weight is still the same this week. I will not give up. I just have to find what works. I got a hold of sugar this week and it just reminded me again how awful I feel with that poison on board. I must avoid it like the plague! I bought some shoes to start a walking program and promptly lost one of them! Unbelievable! I looked everywhere and I cant find it. I'm going to have to buy more cause I cannot walk in my regular shoes. It kills my back and I get incredible shin pains when I I walk without the proper foot gear.

Last night I went out to dinner with girlfriends and had a long talk with a friend who lost 90 pounds about ten years ago. She has kept it off all this time. Her insights were wonderful. She did by using whole grains and cutting out most meat. When she did use meat she made sure it was hormone free. Her doctor had told her that he thought her problem was mostly a hormone one and cutting out the hormones was key for her!

I don't plan on cutting out hormones. Yes, I try to watch the hormones with my family but I just cant cut them all out. It was however, hugely inspiring to talk to someone who was successful at this. So onward I go, ever trying, ...and maybe some day attaining the dream.

Weigh in

2010-10-02T08:42:00.000-07:00

I managed to lose four of those five pounds I gained so that leaves me with a gain of 1 pound this month. I am bummed but not discouraged. I will continue to fight this thing! I weigh 228 pounds exactly. When I started two and a half years ago I weighed 252. I saw as low as 202 at one point. I just need to keep going. I really can do this!

Roadblock

2010-09-21T12:11:00.000-07:00

Okay, this isnt working. I have gained five pounds this month. It appears that even while cutting out sugar and gluten I have an amazing ability to gain weight. I will still have to cut calories. So that is my new plan. Stay away from sugar and gluten and count calories. I have decided that I will use this page to help with accountability.

My goals this week are to get out and walk at least twice before Monday and to stay at 1400 calories. I plan on posting whether or not I stick with my caloric goals.

This is no fun!

Uneven Ground

2010-09-10T08:18:00.000-07:00

I am struggling. It seems I am either totally on this program or I am totally off; no middle ground. I'm about ready to go strictly to a liquid diet - get the weight off and then worry about the sugar and yeast! I am just so frustrated I could scream!!!!!!!!

Labor Day Blow Out

2010-09-06T00:25:00.001-07:00

Took a weekend vacation and totally blew my diet. I realized too late that I have no idea how to do this diet away from home! Back to the drawing board!

Weigh In

2010-09-01T08:55:00.000-07:00

So you all are asking how my gluten free, sugar free diet is doing and how I am feeling. I am feeling wonderful. I can't tell you how nice it is to eat and know that I'm not going to get tired afterwards! I went to Bobs Red Mill and bought a bunch of gluten free products and mixes. This morning I made pancakes from a gluten free, dairy free, mix. I topped it with plain natural yogurt and a teaspoon of sugar free berry jelly. It was divine. I added a poached egg for a bit more protein.

You can quickly see here that I am not avoiding all grains. I'm doing the diet more in the second phase than the first. But its working anyway. My rash is gone and the tiredness is gone. Everyone tells me all the time how much energy I have. And I do but I had a little blood sugar secret that they didn't know about. Regardless of how much I could accomplish in a day I would grow immediately tired after eating. Most of the time I could just lie down for a mere 10 minutes and be fine but still it was annoying.

Now I can eat and not feel any of those sluggish feelings. I know now it was not just the sugar it was the gluten too.

My monthly weight loss for August was three pounds. Its wonderful to be going in the right direction the last two months. At 50 years old I have learned to forget about the big losses and take any tiny loss as a triumph!

Denial

2010-08-30T23:31:00.000-07:00

So proud of myself...tonight my husband came home with my favorite icecream. He said it didn't dawn on him until he drove in the drive that I couldn't have it! It didn't stop him from eating a bowl in front of me though. I'm feeling incredibly in control of my diet so I was totally unfazed...well almost. That happens when I lay off the sugar. Sugar demands food. Carbohydrates increase insulin which in turn increase appetite. It's nice to be free from that merry go round, I must say!

Tomorrow I post my monthly weight loss.

Embarking on the Candida Diet

2010-08-26T23:08:00.000-07:00

I guess that upset me enough that I got on the backwagon without a hitch. I hit the Candida diet without looking back. I have cut out all sugar and gluten. The diet calls for mostly just meat and vegetables. I did discover a line of gluten free sugar free items at the store that I tried today. Somehow they didn't make me feel very well. Once again I had an immediate reaction of tiredness and itchiness. I had eaten some gluten and yeast free pretzels. They put me to sleep within five minutes! I don't think my candida is under control enough to add the carbs like that. The diet says that it could easily be a month or two until the body can handle grains at all. These pretzels were made with seeds and quinoa and obviously I wasn't ready for them. So it looks like I will be eating a lot of veggies in the days to come!

I Never Thought This Could Happen To Me

2010-08-24T19:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,

If you have been following this blog the last couple of weeks you will have read only two entries. If you read those entries and if you have battled blood sugar like I have then you might have seen this post coming! If you saw the end result of those two entries then you are smarter and more in tune with your body than I am!

I did pause to question a few things throughout the last several weeks. I commented to my husband that I think I will just quit eating because every time I do I feel incredibly tired afterward. This has been going on for a couple of weeks. It was so frustrating! It didnt matter if I ate sugar or protein and vegetables, I just wanted to fall asleep afterward!

Then there were the headaches! I was fighting continual headaches! I contributed them to hormone changes and sugar. I always get headaches when I eat sugar. Of course that only stops me for brief periods of time, usually until the headache is gone.

Then there was this past weekend when I wrote that I ate all that junk food and sugar. I recall sitting at the table and thinking to myself, "This is weird. I just cant seem to stop eating sugar!" Did you read of the coma type sleep I go into when I have sugar?

Well, in spite of all these little warnings I was still having trouble correcting my diet. Monday morning I awoke to an incredible itching all over my body! My scalp itched! My stomach itched! My face itched so much I thought I was going to claw it off! My inner thighs itched! I finally slowed down long enough to say to myself, "Something is wrong!"

I was furiously scratching my legs as I headed to the bathroom to wash my arms. I had been outside watering the flowers and just assumed that I had gotten pollen all over myself. I am highly allergic to outdoor pollens. While I was in the bathroom washing my arms I glanced in the mirror and saw huge red blots the size of my finger snaking across my legs! They were angry, blood red streaks, some over an inch wide and three inches long! I was horrified!

I ran to my computer and googled "dark red spots on legs". Up popped the word that would change my diet in a very real way for the next few months, if not a lifetime! CANDIDA

Now I have had yeast infections in my life but nothing that covered my body like this! The more I read about it the more amazed I was. It was like reading a book about myself; the extreme sugar cravings, the overdosing of sugar that feeds the yeast, the headaches, the tiredness after eating - it was all there!

When my husband got home from work I told him what I had discovered. He just looked at me and said,"When are you going to figure out that you are allergic to sugar!" He's right! I have had sugar problems for years but for some reason seeing the visual confirmation of what sugar does to me was unsettling!

I had been on a headlong trip, a downward spiral to this massive outbreak of candida for weeks now. My four day weekend binge of sugar was too much for my body and the yeast spilled out of the intestines and into my blood stream. Even as I sit here writing this the back of my legs against the chair itch incredibly! I cannot quit scratching my scalp. Small rashy bumps cover my face and arms.

I have no choice but to go on the candida diet! I make my own yogurt so that will be highly beneficial right now. Otherwise the diet is basically meat, fish and vegetables with a little dairy! That's it! I am more than willing to do it though!

Anything is better than this incredible itching!

Does anyone know of any good blogs with diet recipes for candida? Have any of you had candida and if so did you do the diet and did it work to clear it up?

What a roller coaster

2010-08-23T06:50:00.000-07:00

I have now gone four days without paying close attention to what I am eating. As a result I have a migraine and worse than that, I have gained 7 pounds in those 4 days! I wasn't even on vacation. I just had a busy weekend! Its not even like I ate so badly it was simply that I didn't count calories and sugar snuck into my diet! Do those that don't have to watch every single bite they eat...do they know how good they have it?

What a ride this has been! I really must be more accountable! Should accountability come via this blog? I might just have to forget about all the eyes reading this and boringly and meticulously write down every tiny aspect of eating right just to keep me in line.

This week I am stick to mostly protein. I'm going to walk at least three times this week and drink at least a quart of water a day! You all do not know how huge that water thing is to me. Our temps have been in the 90's and 100's sometimes this summer and through it all I shun the water and continue sipping my hot coffee!!

Even though I want to lose weight with all my heart sometimes I wonder how much I really want to. If I really wanted to lose weight why would I sabotage myself so much?

When blood sugars fall

2010-08-15T17:36:00.000-07:00

Had sugar this morning in my breakfast and its been all downhill since! I just want to sleep and sleep and its not a good sleep! Sleeping from a blood sugar crash is awful. It's like soaring in a falling airplane then suddenly being jerked back to the skies...swooping...plunging...hurling...up, up up ...down down down. I cannot even begin to explain the kind of sleep that comes from blood sugar surging and falling. Only those who have hypoglocemia can possibly know what I'm talking about!

After I finally pulled myself out of the stupor I drank a glass of water and a handful of cashews. I'm going to have an ounce of cheese now and 1/4 cup of orange juice. This with the nuts should stabilize me again. What an awful trip! Why after having this for 35 years cant I stay away from sugar.

Well I have been and that's why this fall was so bad. Its a funny thing. When I'm eating sugar all the time the crashes don't come like this. Its more of a rundown feeling all the time. When Ive been off of sugar for weeks then have it again everything dips dangerously low. Its a weird experience.

I have lost another 2 pounds so far this month which is a loss of a pound each week for August. Hopefully I can continue this pattern. All I ask is a pound a week! Is that too much to expect? Sometimes I think it is!

Weigh in

2010-08-04T11:21:00.000-07:00

I forgot to update my monthly loss for July. Well here it is! I lost a total of 2 pounds for the month! At least it is a loss. At this point I will take anything! Things are definitely going better but I would still like to end up with a cleaner eating day! Im going to continue to work on cleaning up the snacks and keeping everything neatly within my calorie limit!

Trying again

2010-07-29T07:52:00.000-07:00

Well I will cautiously say that I'm back on track. I have lost 6 pounds this last week and finally feel like I might be actually getting somewhere this time! So many false starts....but hey, if I don't start I'll never go anywhere. Most of my motivation has come from realizing that school is almost here and I'm not going to fit decently into my clothes. No, I haven't had to buy bigger sizes but the clothes I do have fit differently. I had a mixture of sizes in my closet so I have been okay but let me tell you, if I had gained even five more pounds half of those clothes would no longer fit! So I really had to do something.

Besides all that, putting on the extra 20 pounds made my knees start hurting again. I knew I couldn't continue that way so I decided there was no other option but to count calories and begin anew!

So here I am and hopefully here I will stay!

Summer eating not what it seems

2010-07-13T09:31:00.000-07:00

Everybody says summer is the easiest time to lose weight because of all the fresh vegetables and fruits. Well guess again! Its a terrible time for me and always has been. There are too many back yard picnics. Summer means potato salad, macaroni salad, hot dogs, hamburgers, ice cream etc. What's easy about that? Yes, I'm complaining! I ate 300 calories over my limit yesterday and I am bummed!

Still trying

2010-07-10T10:01:00.000-07:00

You would think with all this sporadic posting that I wasn't trying to eat right anymore. Nothing could be further from the truth. Oh yes, I have my moments of eating chips without regard to weight or idly eating trail mix and not paying any attention to portion sizes. Yep, that's me, but the trying and the desire is always there somewhere. Every day I write something down in the interest of calorie counting but I never follow through.

Yesterday I counted everything and this morning I had a splitting headache!
That is sure proof that I was eating too many calories before. I always get headaches when I cut down on my food consumption.

But anyway, I have to tough this one out. When my body adjusts the headaches will disappear. I must continue to lose this weight. So far this year I have gained 8 pounds; not good!

Summertime and a new beginning

2010-07-02T15:43:00.000-07:00

Well I didn't fall off the map here. I have just been hugely busy! For the first time in two years I don't have any idea what I weighed at the beginning of June. I do however know my weight at the beginning of this month. I am just not ready to say it yet though.

What I am ready to tell you though is that I have started a diet of my own making. I didn't say anything at first because I didn't want this to be something I was "going" to do! I wanted to actually do and know I could before I told anyone.

So here is what I have modified for myself. I have made a diet wherein I drink protein shakes and eat raw fruits and vegetables. It seems to be working just fine. I ha vent had any food cravings but my blood sugar is swooping around a bit. The trick is to fine tune things enough that my sugar stays stable.

I've been using premade protein drinks because at the beginning of the diet I just didn't want to deal with making my own. The problem with the premade shakes is that they contain way too much sugar for me. I found one with 27 grams of protein which was lovely but it had 18 grams of sugar. I just cant do that. I get immediately tired and absolutely could fall asleep on the spot.

The ones that work the best are the ones designed for the Atkins program; they are high in protein and very low in sugar. But even then my blood sugar waffles around. I know from past experiences that some of the dips in blood sugar are caused from changing my diet and cutting the calorie count. It happens every time. The only times I don't feel it are when I've fitfully started the Atkins diet. It has enough protein to hold my blood sugar at a stable level. I expect in a few more days I will level out. At any rate I have been having great success with this way of eating. I have decided I will continue it for 4 more weeks and see how it goes and so far I'm happy with it!

Today I have had 2 protein shakes, fresh peas from the garden, a salad, and a banana. Oh, of course, I have had my coffee. And yes, I need to make a little confession here, I had a fish stick. I was making fish sticks for the kids lunch and I broke one in half to see if it was done. Without even thinking I popped it in my mouth! It was done so what else was there to do with it! Well its hard to break old habits but I'm trying!

still here

2010-05-12T22:26:00.000-07:00

Im still here. Im just lacking time to update. Of course Im still watching what I eat. Im determined that this month will end with another loss.