Sunday, July 20, 2008

The real reason I am struggling

I have suddenly lost that ravenous appetite that plagued me for several weeks. I have no idea what that was all about. Sometimes I think I know my body and other times I have no idea how it will respond.

Im going to go ahead and tell you ladies what has been my biggest problem with weight loss the last 8-10 weeks. You see, since April I have been getting two cycles a month which means every 2 weeks Ive been going through the weight gain and bloat and hunger that is caused by a regular cycle. Now suddenly the middle of June nothing happened. Through July nothing happened. Finally 36 days later I get another monthly explanation point. By now they are no longer periods. Believe me! They are truly explanation points!

Yes, I am going through the big M. This is why women should be sure to lose their weight when they are still cycling normally and when nature can work with them.

One of the reasons I was so determined in January to do this was because I have been going through this mess for a couple of years now and I wanted the estrogen to help make my skin elastic enough to go back into place. I am determined that after losing 100 pounds I will not have to get surgery done to remove skin. I hate surgery on every level!

If I was going to have a prayer of avoiding surgery I would need to do this before menopause. Well here I am pushing the very limits. You younger ones are so, so lucky in this weight loss arena. I just want to encourage you all to lose the weight NOW and don't weight until 50 is knocking at your door like I did.

Well I'm not sure what inspired that little confession - probably the fact that I cant go to church this morning because I'm hemorrhaging had a little something to do with it. I am so upset that I cant go to church today. The whole week seems messed up when I cant make it. And if I don't go the kids cant go. I hate that!

This weight loss thing is not easy. I know I keep repeating this but this takes incredible perseverance! Really I am amazed that I haven't gained in the last couple of months. But something in me will not let me give up. I'm just hanging on determined to get through this.

And I do think I've broke through a barrier. I have been weighing consistently a pound to a pound a half less this week. Hopefully I am on my way again. Why, oh why didn't I do this ten years ago or even five years ago. Oh well, theres nothing I can do now but plow on and I will plow on! I am not looking back!!


  1. I have to admit that's one of the main reasons that's keeping me on this plan! I'm going to be 47 shortly and i haven't started the big M yet but i know it's just around the corner :) It is a lot slower this time but i can handle that.
    It must be so incredibly hard for you to be so up and down as far as appetite etc go!! I give you total kudos for keep with it ;) Hope it slows down a bit for you soon!! Have a great week.

  2. i feel so bad about what you are going through. Weight loss is hard enough as it is but then when you throw those darn hormones into the mix! I am scared of loose skin too...but I will worry about that then. Thanks for the advice.....I will not give up this time but keep heading down the scale and stay at my goal when I get there so I don't have to fight harder as I get older.

  3. I swear our bodies are so screwed up...kinda makes ya wanna smack the hell out of Eve for that damn apple and cursing the rest of us. (not sure what I believe there but at least it allows us to blame Anyway BIG KUDOS to you for sticking with it. I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I better do it while I could. I decided when 40 comes I wanna be like Demi or Heidi, or at least close to it! I'm gonna be 40 & fabulous...well I plan on getting there ahead of schedule. : )Keep up the good work. And thank you for creating this wonderful forum for us to join you.

  4. I really admire your perseverance! And I thank you too for creating and keeping up this blog and forum.. it is so valuable for staying on target! :)

  5. I admire you. Your honesty and willing to share your struggles is really inspirational to others.

  6. I do so admire you "never-give-up" attitude. What an inspiration you are! Your approach surely must be an inspiration to your daughters. I think you are doing a great job, considering what you have working against you right now. Bless you!!

    Mary in TN

  7. I had no idea that "M" would affect our bodies in that way. I'd heard the other typical things but this, hmmm. It is amazing you have not just given up and I thank you because I look at all these ladies on the same path to become healthier people and well you spured alot of that or at least keep us on task.
    Thank you for sharing such a personal journey with us.(wow do I sound sappy or what???ick)
    Vanessa (((hugs))))


Thank you for taking the time to encourage me on my journey! Your comment is appreciated!