I stayed the same again. Im actually not on a plateau. I haven't lost these last two days because I have upped my calories. I didn't really plan too but Ive been eating more like 1600 calories a day. That's fine with me. I'm not in this for a race.
I continually marvel at the psychological part of losing weight. I have noticed over this past year that whenever I lose weight really good for several weeks I subconsciously back off. After several days of that it hits my conscious mind what I have done. I think there is a little hidden fear in me that I need to up my calories or I will gain everything back. So then I play little games with myself. I up the calories to prove I can do it and not gain. Sometimes I have gained. Other times I stay the same. I also notice that I do this before milestones.
If I could lose another 2.25 pounds I will be in onderland. It's like I have this feeling that I have to make sure the loss is for real by testing it now so that when I hit the one hundreds I will feel more sure of myself. Okay, now I'm showing you all how really warped I am in my thinking. I think this hidden agenda and secret inhibitions have kept me from successful weight loss in the past.
Now I am facing the weird way I think and just going with it. In time my mind adjusts to my lower weight and I'm ready to move on. I think there is more fear in losing weight than I ever wanted to admit to myself. I never go out and about these days without somebody mentioning my weight loss and how good I look. Now I know that doesn't mean I look like a movie star. They are only meaning that I look good relative to the 252 pounds I use to weigh! While I like to hear that it also puts pressure on me to keep losing. My old subconscious mind says to stop the whole thing and take a bit of a break. I do that by upping my calories. I have seen this stupid phenomenon over and over in me.
Well okay bod, you upped your calories, you stayed the same in spite of daily ups and downs now get back to the program. You know what is so funny to me? Even when I up my calories I mentally keep track of them in my head. Its habit. On the other hand I don't consider myself off of the program when I am still counting because my program is calorie counting! So now Ive fooled my body with changes in calories for two weeks its time to drop back and get to losing. So how did you all do this week?
Mrs darling) 0