Epiphany

I've been trying to analyze the way I've been feeling the last year or so about my weight. It's much different than what I was feeling when I was younger. First let me say, that as a child I was not overweight. By younger I mean ten years ago, which would put me at about 41 years of age. I had a baby at 40 years old. I wasnt worried much about my weight then even though I weighed 256 pounds at full term. I had other worries, such as, caring for my baby and 4 year old daughter. I was also dealing with a rebellious teen age child so weight loss wasnt a priority.
I definitely never thought about how my weight effected how people perceived me. Now 10 years later I have a whole different reason for losing weight. Now that I am working more in the public eye I get the feeling sometimes that I would be taken more seriously if I was thinner. It's nothing I can put my finger on. Maybe it's my own inferiority about it. But whatever it is, I now want to lose weight so I can feel that what I have to offer in my field of work, is recognized and taken seriously. It's strange to feel this way. It's even strange and uncomfortable to admit it and write it here.