Thursday, October 20, 2011

Giving up

I cannot even tell you how frustrated I am! I am not losing weight and now Im so upset that I would have to say I am angry. Angry at everyone and everything. I cannot lose this weight. Today I stood in McDonalds, having gone in there to get a movie out of Red Box, and I thought about my long day. I wanted a mint mocha so badly.. and yet I didn't want it. I stood in line to get it and then left, without a movie or the mocha. Nothing is working. I can't get on a plan and stay on it. I'm only 9 pounds from my heaviest weight ever. Do I care? I must not. If I did I would diet. I just can't find the energy to worry about diet right now. My business is taking every ounce of energy out of me. I am busy from morning till night. I hate myself in the morning when I get dressed. I hate myself in the afternoon when I am tired. I hate myself in the evening when I go to bed. I am fat. Just plain fat and I have no idea how to find the time to deal with it. I want to just stand on the rooftop and scream. I hate myself at this weight. I have no idea how to change anything. Every extra bit of energy and thought I have, is used up on every day life. I can't bring myself to count every bite again. I just don't have it in me. Is this the end? I don't know.

33 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Oops deleted my comment

    but - hang in there. It'll be worth it.

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  3. This may make you wanna scream but wheat free, low carb and low sugar is working for me. The book Wheat Belly was a fascinating insight into my sugar highs and lows and my addiction to wheat products and since cutting out the wheat my blood sugar is stable so I no longer need to eat all the time. I don't even want a cake anymore and have lost 11 lb in 3 weeks eating unlimited eggs, fish, cheese, meat, veg ( not fruit) and all cooked in fat. You may have already tried it but I thought I ought to mention it. :) xx

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  4. What's working for me right now is concentrating on working out. Thinking of food as fuel and not as enjoyment...I definitely understand your frustration. I'm just getting out of a 2 month plateau.

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  5. Hello-
    I can tell you are frustrated!! I am a holistic nutritionist and came across your blog. I currently reside in Minneapolis. Please take a look at my website and blog. I offer phone consultations if you are interested! I would love to help you on your weight loss journey!

    Jackie
    www.optimumwellnessmn.com
    www.jackieamart.blogspot.com

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  6. Chin up!!! You made the decision to leave without the mocha...that's a BIG accomplishment!!! All us fat girls know, it's a battle. Every second of every hour of every day! You won this one...be PROUD of yourself!!!

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  7. At the precipice, we change. In other words, at the point of final failure, at the point when the only choice is to change or to die, that is the point when we will change.

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  8. give this a try - www.bodyrock.tv - do what you can every other day - and don't give up!

    hugs

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  9. I just came by your blog as I was clicking "next blog" while waiting for my husband to get off the phone :)
    Don't give up! What is the famous saying? Try Try Try Again.
    You can do it!
    Have you read Women, Food, and God? Also a good non-profit resource is www.westonaprice.org
    I wish you all the best! I'd love if you came by my blog and let me know how you are doing after awhile!

    Beck
    www. wellnesshammock.com

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  10. Thank you all for your encouragement. You are the best! Mrs darling

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  11. This is not the end. This is a plateau. I am a psychologist and pastor and I'd say 50% or more of my patients or congregation have weight problems. What works best, if you'll just give it a try, is to forget about 'dieting' and just eliminate 500 calories a day from what you now eat. In one week, you will lose a lb. Be consistent. 500 calories is equal to a sandwich or ice cream bar, etc., not difficult to pass up. To lose a little more, walk for half an hour a day or do a similar exercise. Drastic changes never work for the long haul, this does. If you ever wish to talk, email me @ mccormick45jw@aol.com There are 3500 calories on 1 lb. of fat. 500 calories deleted each day of 7 = 3500 calories. It works. God bless.

    John

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  12. Mrs. Darling,

    I've just found your blog--so I sure hope you don't quit!

    I actually do know how you feel. I won't bore you with the proof (Although you'd find it on my blog), but I do. I've almost written the post you've written here many times in the last few months. It is still hanging in the balance, quite frankly.

    Before I totally throw in the towel, tho, I've decided on the "no diet" approach that I sneered at all along the way. (And it's been a long way...)

    I've counted calories long enough to know reasonable portions and what is and is not high cal food. I also know what food works for me health/feeling wise.

    I'm making the long leap and assuming that I can be adult enough to act on that knowledge w/out actual counting and measuring and looking up. Granted, that's a pretty long leap right now, but we'll see how it goes.

    What I know is that trying to force the DIET has left me feeling exactly what you wrote in this post...and regaining..so I've decided to try keeping it simple. You know, as opposed to making it so detailed and complicated and strict that I go screaming off the edge of the cliff just for relief.

    My plan? Eating 3 reasonable meals a day of the food that I know works for me and stopping the eating before I get way too full. And that's it. (Well, that and a lot of prayer. That "adult enough" part requires some heavenly intervention for me to pull off.)

    My guess is that if we just quit obsessing and making it all so hard, we'd be a lot better off. Couldn't be worse.

    Deb

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  13. Hello sweets :)
    I too have struggled with weight issues, and I can finally say after years of struggle that I have begun to take control.
    Protein with every single meal (including snacks) helps your body turn from burning the food you digest, to burning stored body fat.
    The key is to get that resting metabolism up! Of course the benefits of losing weight and feeling good about yourself, is easier said than done. But don't give up. Make sure you eat protein with every piece of food you have, and walk at least 30mins a day. Portion size of meals also matter. Eat 6 small meals over the day. Think of your metabolism as a burning fire. Each small meal you have is like throwing a chunk of wood into the fire to help it burn more efficiently. Eating enough protein in your diet is sure to cut sugar cravings. If you feel like your craving sugar though, purchase sugar free mints! The minty flavour can help suppress hunger. Hope i helped in a small way xx

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  15. Just hang in there dear, you're gonna be just fine! I'm starting my water fast tomorrow and i'm detailing it all on my page: www.othentiq-waterfast.blogspot.com

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Thank you for taking the time to encourage me on my journey! Your comment is appreciated!